Greasin’ Up The Tots.

This one is for the parents…

Being a dad, I keep my kid looking cool. A lot cooler than I was, that’s for sure. We don’t want our kids to look like some pre-outfitted Wal-Mart kids. Well, at least I don’t. I have a little girl, so pomp’n her hair is out of the question.

For those will little boys, you want them to look cooler than the kids with Justin Bieber hair. Hell, if you’re reading this blog, you better! I’m all about letting your kids become their own individual, but there is just some things in this world that are not socially acceptable. Like letting your little boy wear skinny jeans, Justin Bieber hairstyles, or Kids Bop.

The temptation is there to grease up your boys hair. Of course you want your kids to be stylish like the kids were in the 50s, but you might wanna be careful with that. Especially if you want to grease up their hair. You could end up damaging their hair. Have you seen a five year old with a bald spot? Do you want to? I don’t think so.

Babies hair is a shit ton different than ours, (no, really???) Well fellas, it really fuckin is.

With babies, their hair needs it’s natural oils. (Not just their hair, but their bodies too.) It’s what helps keep their hair clean and healthy. A lot of women would love to have baby soft hair. Hell, some guys would love to have baby soft hair. (There’s a trick, where some ladies would have little babies/kids run their hands through their hair, because the oils on their hands coat their hair, making it softer. The more ya know.)

And if this wasn’t evident, with specific brushes for babies, shampoos and towels, well… You’re either never around people with babies to know, or you’re a dumbass. Here’s to hoping you’re not the dumbass.

Brushing your kids hair, helps promote strong roots, a healthy scalp, and strong hair growth. And obviously with babies, they have specific brushes, so stick to that for about the first year. Using a regular bristled brush can actually irritate their scalps. Especially if it’s a brush that you’ve used. You don’t want to transfer your oils or hair grease to theirs.

But as your kids get older, the closer you are to being able to grease up your little boys. Everyones hair changes every seven years, so you’re almost their folks. So by 7, you should be good to go. But, you don’t want to be using petrolatum based products.

Not that it’ll make their hair fall out, but you just want to help promote strong hair growth and cleanliness.

I’d suggest sticking to water soluble products like Layrite or Grant’s. It washes right out with just water. I mean, rockabillies and greasers use it, so kids can feel cool about using it too, right?

I know there will be the few who will argue that their son has been using grease since they were six. But wait till they’re 18, see how far their hairline goes and see if you can spit shine that baldspot. I’m not saying petrolatum products make your hair fall out, but if you get a little carried away, you’ll do some damage that your kids could hate you for.

As much as you want your kids to be the coolest of the cool, take the extra precautions and do what’s right for your kids. At least for the future of their hairlines.


7 responses to “Greasin’ Up The Tots.

  1. thanks for this acticle!

  2. Hey jan I got a question about pomade for kids, my young cousin (age 9) wants me do teach him how to style a pomp but I don’t want to use some of my personal pomade (I use some pretty heavy shit) and I was wondering what are some good pomades for kids that have lots of hold yet washes out like gel? Any help would be appreciated

    • Hey man,

      While I am hesitant to recommend a pomade for kids, I do know a lot of parents use gel-type water-soluble pomades. Cock Grease XXX (though I doubt the parents will dig the name,) Layrite, Grant’s Golden Brand, Lone Star are a few names that older cats use, if the name of the brand matters. Monkey Brains, which can be found at stores like Walgreens, WalMart, CVS, Rite Aid, etc, is aimed for kids. But, keep in mind, a reader has actually had an allergic reaction to this stuff, causing her to get a straight up rash.

      I definitely recommend staying away from petrolatum products, for the time being, because their scalps are still sensitive to stuff like that. You don’t want to ruin their chances at full heads of hair! Just make sure they’re not allergic to any particular ingredient, in the water-soluble stuff, and you should be fine.

      – Jan

      • Well luckly my cousin doesn’t have any allergies so that shouldn’t be a worry. Yeah I’ve been looking around the internet for different pomades and I looked a cock grease (sounds a bit like a lube brand but anyway) I really don’t think names will be a problem. So I’ll get some different products layrite, monkey brains,etc and try them out my self before trying them on him. Thanks a lot,0rwe11

  3. hophopkangaroo

    You scared me when you said receding hairlines at 18. I’m 13 and I use Murrays and Royal crown. Is that ok for my age. Will it make me lose hair in the future?

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